keeping busy

If you’re searching for more coffee table books, try the Guide to Getting It On, 5th ed.  This big sex guide is mostly geared toward heterosexual readers, but there’s a little something for everyone.

And the illustrations are priceless.  My favorites are the hot construction worker and the handjob in the shower.

I promise: Put this in a visible part of your apartment/hovel, and damn near everyone will want to pick it up and thumb through.  I’ve purchased several copies as gifts from Kramer’s Books and Afterwords.  Well worth the $25.

http://www.goofyfootpress.com/

Also, congrats to Mlle. Nottibits for being published in Bobbie Dawn’s July Carnival of Sexuality!  Check it out here:

http://www.bobbiedawn.com/

Boink: College Sex By the People Having It – I like it!

I recently bought about six or seven books that somehow relate to sex and got to read one on my plane from Las Vegas. Boink: College Sex by the People Having It is a series of stories (fiction and nonfiction, I believe) with beautiful illustrations to accompany each story and interludes of gorgeous photography.

 

The art is enough reason to buy the book – I bought Boink without knowing the content because the colors and photography drew me in. The quality of the photos is just perfect and captures the amateur, light-hearted nature of college sex. Each “interlude” features lesbian, couple and individual scenes; so my one complaint is that there’s no man-on-man action and I went to AU so I know hot, gay sex is the norm in college.

 

The literary parts of the book cover the gamut of college experiences – some are incredibly insightful and introspective, others frank, and others informative. Threeways, break ups, fantasies, getting sexiled, coming out, roommate troubles and affairs are all covered in great detail by college students (mostly from Boston).

 

So I bet you’re thinking – why should I buy it when I can just flip through the pics at the bookstore? The answer is that the book makes for a colorful part of any library and is a fun coffee table sort of book; you’ll notice that anyone who comes by your place will pick it out and comment on how interesting it is. Reading the stories aloud (acting out each character and such) is great fun with a group of friends or a significant other. And I’ll admit that a few of the stories got me a little hot and bothered.

 

I’m also up for taking any recommendations in all sorts of sex books – so if you’re reading this, drop me a link or something!

 

HAPPY NATIONAL ORGASM DAY!

 

happy hump day

Welcome home, Mlle. Nottibits.  We look forward to more details…

Mme. Hovary is going on a weekend trip too.  This Friday she departs for The Big Apple, just for shits and giggles.  I’m quite certain I won’t encounter many sex workers, regrettably.

BF will be visiting family elsewhere, so no hot dickings til at least Monday.  Muh.

Las Vegas: Home of the Labia Motorboat

So I survived the trip with more than enough stories to last me awhile. I figure, though, with this being a sex blog I’ll tackle the sexiest encounter I had in Vegas.

So, first night we get there at 11pm so I think ‘it’s so late, might as well call it a night and start bright and early the next morning’. But no! My bf’s friends call us over to a strip club, Little Darlings, to start the weekend off right.

I had a few qualms about the trip as the cover was 25 bucks each and Little Darlins just isn’t the best the Strip has to offer. However I had to keep the following in mind: that a) Strippers LOVE me , b) Vegas is an arms race of clubs constantly struggling to out-wow each other and c) Strippers fucking love me.

B was what sealed the deal; the club featured poles that stretched near 30 feet into the ceiling, every inch of which was scaled by beautiful (mostly natural) women in cute ass lil’ outfits. These women did things to those poles that challenged Cirque de Soleil in their difficult and unique ability. One or two spun halfway down the pole only to fall into a split. A pair of leather clad ladies made for a particularly amazing show: one did a split handstand on the pole while the other inched down face first to simulate some very acrobatic, cunnilingus-like play. The lesbian action was extremely authentic – playful yet erotic, there were very easy giggles and fun wrestling and nibbling.

Oh and the lovely ladies went out of their way to make me feel special – I got hugs, kisses, compliments, free dances, dollars retrieved oh so skillfully from my bosom and something that I can only describe as a labia motorboat.

There are too many other clubs to visit for me to say that I’d definitely go back but the experience was more than memorable enough for me to recommend the place.

On the educational side, here are my favorite articles of today:

Chinese Women Embrace the Pole

German “Hot Cops” Are Actually Cops (aka and THAT’S why you don’t teach lessons)

 Strangers with Candy Still Exist: Fear Candy

C’mon baby

So the more I look at our blog banner, the stranger it gets.  I’ve never met penises as curvy as those pictured.

Not that I have anything against curvy penises.  I love me some penis.

Let’s talk penis, shall we?

To start, a gem from a gentleman friend of mine, upon whom fortune and the gene pool smiled, in a certain sense.  Long ago, he said it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it.

Yes.  That’s probably one of the smartest things he ever said.

Large has some advantages, of course.  I’m sure pornography has made us well aware of this, so I don’t need to go further in depth (haha).

But larger gentlemen sometimes leave you with the impression you were just fucked with a blunt object.  And blunt objects can hurt.

Quickies become a little more difficult, at least on my end.  For the larger penis, subtlety can be hard to cum by, or the finer points of fucking get lost.

Consequently, this is why I like a nice average penis.  If you are in a hurry, you can do your business and not walk away sore.  If you want to fuck two or three times in an evening, ditto.  If you like it rough, ditto.

If you’re giving head, lockjaw is less of a problem, and he fits better in your throat so less mess if you’re the swallowing type.

I find these to be delightful perks.

The Strip

Just my own two cents on Las Vegas.  I most recently visited Sin City last summer, when I was still woefully underage.

One evening found my sister and I wandering down the Strip between MGM Grand and the Paris Las Vegas as we waited for a show.  I shouldn’t have been surprised, but there were a number of guys loitering on the sidewalk passing out baseball card-sized fliers.

They were for strip clubs and assorted erotic services, and they were littered all over the sidewalk.  A lot of the men whistled as we walked by.

Oh Las Vegas, you’re no different from any other city.  Bright and shiny during the day, sketchy as hell at night.

This also reminds me of the time I was solicited for sex in Beijing.  Brazilian man and I were the only people in the hotel awake at 5am.

He was watching the World Cup, I had jet lag.  I was reading USA Today and saw him pacing nearby so I said hi and made small talk.

After a couple minutes, he showed me an envelope with his room number and said “You…how much?  You understand?”  After I realized what he meant, my first thought was to speculate how much I could get out of him.  $300?  $400?

I told him I didn’t understand and walked outside.

Sin City Ho!

It seems this infamous BDSM/Fantasy Club and I were not meant to meet

 

 

As I wait with bated breath to board my first flight to Las Vegas, I can’t help but wonder what marvels await me in the infamous City of Sin. It’s really interesting what my friends have to say when I tell them about this trip. Nine times out of ten the conversation goes as follows:

 

Me: So I’m going to Vegas in X days!! I’m FREAKING OUT!
Friend: Nice! Who are you going with?

Me: My boyfriend.

Friend: You guys getting a hooker? Or hookers?

 

 My answer is always no but with each passing day I feel less and less sure about that “no.” When I ask myself “why not” the immediately response I come up with is “we won’t have enough time.” It makes me think that there are many layers of effects that living in a semi-puritanical society. Because dwelling on this issue further I come up with a myriad of other problems with purchasing a prostitute:

 

-         it could be dirty, ew

-         my friends will think I’m a slut, ugh

-         someone I don’t want to find out will find out, oh noes

 

All valid concerns but all of  which could be applied to any other events of my sordid past that would include going to a BDSM club, sex in public, threeways and being bisexual.

 

So, after much consideration and some meaningful soul searching, I discovered the real reason why I won’t be indulging in hot prostitutes on my trip; it’s far too expensive and the ROI just isn’t worth it. I’m a cheap ass and this fact was one of the first solid personality traits I ever developed and discovered about myself. Case in point; the only reason I’m going to Vegas is because I found a deal, flight plus hotel, for four days for just under $300. As far as gambling, the ROI is just more tangible than screwing around with someone I don’t know. And I’ve decided that without time to invest with someone to accustom him/her to my incredibly specific desires, I only end up incredibly frustrated and figure that I just have better things to do.

 

 Living in big cities has done this to me but I hope that getting away for awhile will loosen the irrationally tight grip on my wallet if but for a few hours.

foxy friday

Got birth control troubles?  Don’t we all.

Consider IUDs.  ~$500 for device plus doctor visit and you’re set for the next 5-12 years.  Hard on the wallet in the short term, cost-effective in the long run.  And you don’t have to remember a daily pill, deal with an itchy patch, etc.

And in other news, it’s Friday, or it will be shortly.  Guess what that means…

Madame Hovary will very likely get laid after attending the theatre and imbibing a beer at the Harp and FIddle.  Aaaaand, her walls are thin.  And, she has yet to find a way to fuck discretely.

Her roommates are very gracious about it, but Mme. Hovary is attempting to remain on good terms with them for the duration of her yearlong lease.  Which probably precludes, you know, being a loud fuck.

With four people in the apt, it’s hard to wrangle an empty house, and Ms. Bovary is without a car.  Her main squeeze hasn’t a room of his own.  So my place is by default the den of sin.

Quiet sex is low fun, and probably means it’s not doing it for me.   So what to do?  Can’t I have my cake and eat it too?  Is a gag/dungeon the only solution?

Everybody Does What Now?

Not sex and I wouldn’t pressure anyone to “do it” really.

Feel free to do whatever...obviously

I hope that this blog reflects the nature of a wide variety of sexual lifestyles some of which don’t include a partner at all. Not to go too much into it but sexual thoughts, porn, and the good ol’ self serve method were all a part of my life way before I started having sex and will continue to be even with significant others in tow.

 

I was drawn to the title of this particular article, “No Sex Please, We’re Vampires” that discusses a romance novel that isn’t overtly sexual (heaven forbid) and explores the importance of supporting a chaste lifestyle before marriage while encouraging discussion about sex. I couldn’t be happier with this message; my Catholic education made the subject of sex and all its dangling, juicy details such a mystery that I had to look to the internet for answers. And anyone who’s ever seen goatse, tubgirl, lemonparty or shitting dick nipples knows that this was far from the correct method. Eventually I found solid, reputable sources but an open discussion as a young person would have done much more than webmd could.

 

I can’t think of a decent conclusion for this except that what “Everyone Does” is think about sex in some way a good deal of the time (it’s in our biology right?). So, to talk about it in all the ways there are is natural and I plan on doin’ it.

 

Nanonano

Welcome!  This is Everybody Does It, a sex and alt lifestyle blog.

Who are we?  Two freshly-minted, filthy-minded college grads underutilizing our overpriced educations.  We plan to post several times a week.

What will we post?  Stories, posts from guest bloggers (hopefully), questions for the audience, and other tidbits.  Please let us know if you’d like to see a certain feature.

Now, introductions are in order.  I’ll go first!

Name:  Madame Hovary

Age: 21

Height: 5′0″

Color: Yellow

Stomping grounds: Northwest DC

Hails from: Norcal

Day job: feminist rabble-rouser

Favorite undies: Hanky Panky black low rise thong

Favorite sex shop: Night Dreams

Specialty: blowjobs

Favorite fuck: St. Patrick’s Day ‘08.  Nothing like an Irish car bomb to get things started.

Places in which I’d Like to Fuck: McKinley Building at AU

Babymaking music: Buddy Guy

That’ll do for now.  Stay tuned and happy reading!