Photo: Sexy in the Workplace

It was my last day at work. Quit a week ago.

Whew, thank god.

Going the distance

Kudos to those stalwart individuals like Mlle. Nottibits who can sustain long-distance relationships.

Kudos to those ballsy/idiotic individuals who are ready to tie the knot.  I wish you the best.

Kudos to you who can juggle it all -  families, meaningful career, meaningful hobbies, meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, etc.

Sorry for the Dan Savage fail.  He was every ounce the delightfully inappropriate pottymouth you would expect.

Dan left 2 distinct impressions on me.

1) You know it’s love when you think his armpits smell fantastic.

2) Monogamy is normal, but it’s not natural.  Most people fuck up and cheat.  Open relationships and threesomes can be a good way to improve an otherwise monogamous relationship.

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Commitment.  What’s the rush?

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Nottibits – you’re a gem.  Good luck with the move, and have lots of fun and sex and illicit substances.  The District will not be as cool without you.  Let me know when you’re back.  I still owe you a drank, or many.

Good night, and good luck.

Photo: passionate F*CK

The passionate fuck I needed and deserved finally found me ver the weekend. Initially, M seemed pretty annoyed with the reintroduction of condoms (Atlas this time) but he didn’t seem to have any real trouble reacquainting himself with em. We got back into anal sex and I orgasmed myself into a monstrous, asphyxiation induced headache.

Concupiscent, desiring, hard up, hot to trot, hot, lascivious, libidinous, lustful, oversexed, passionate, randy, turned on

My ever shrinking budget demanded a few sacrifices in the past month to compensate for some other stuff, the crucial to living kind of stuff. This meant cutting oral contraceptives out of my life for awhile – the fact that the price per pack went up about 450% and that I’m not gettin laid made that decision a little easier. However, I am now defenseless against mittelsmertz and an old, long-forgotten affliction that might be something close to nymphomania.

Having been on the pill for so long, I just thought that my diminishing sex drive was in small part due to the hormones but in larger part due me growing out of teenagehood. This proved not to be so.  So, the past few days have been interjected with me pigging out on porn and literotica and fantasizing and responding accordingly to the physical/sexual demands of such activity (read: masturbating) I spend most of my waking hours contemplating taking a sick day to help out with my renewed lusts for sex. While distracting, I also found that my general mood was changing; every day I feel happier and more light hearted and that my self-esteem is improving - I can’t tell if my body looks better or I just felt sexier, good both ways really.   Suddenly, I wanan revert to my high school days – the experimenting, the sex outdoors, short skirts and naked pictures for naked pictures sake.  I wanna roll around in in cartoon colored underwear with M and reignite my love affair with S&M which might be due to the loss of hypersensitivity in my skin caused by the contraceptive, though, clearly, I am no doctor. And I feel compelled to get more ink done and a new piercing AND AND AND I want red meat.

I’m genuinely happy and horny, I can’t think of a better cure for the recession blues.

*The title is made up for synonyms for the word HORNY

Photo: Kissing Scene

I went out last night with the intention of having one drink and be in bed by 10 PM. However, much more drinking and kissing was to be had and by the end of the night I felt like:

 

Only I was swimming in alcohol due to happy hour specials and an extremely low tolerance for the stuff.  I wish summer would get here soon.

I need to meet some vanilla guys with ponytails…Obviously

When it comes to the fetish world, I know I can’t judge anyone based on their outside appearance – I think it works most of the time when there’s a leash and collar involved but otherwise I’m just screwed. When I meet new people in the typical places,  I try to gauge them from some conversation usually to no avail (one friend just asks “what side of the coin are you on”, I envy his brazenness). Where am I going with this…

From the male subs I personally know, I’ve created a stereotype for just about all really tall, slim guys with ponytails.  It’s bad, it’s gotten so bad that now I see these types out and about and think they all have secretly longings to be caged or beaten or otherwise humiliated.  There’s one guy with a trench coat (of course he has a trench coat..) I see near my workplace and the thought of him quietly polishing my boots in a corner fills my heart with joy and spreads a mischievous grin across my face. Really, I should know better but friends like Lou (pictured below) just make it all that much harder for me to see these long haired guys as anything but submissives* Besides, racial stereotypes are sooooo last year, sexual lifestyle ones are all the rage especially as kink is getting extra popular these days.  And there are certainly worse stereotypes out there, yes?

I’ll try to stop myself from thinking, daydreaming, fantasizing such things about the trench coated guy, god I hate to be so narrow-minded as to stereotype within the BDSM community.

*But, for the record, EVERY SINGLE GUY I know with long hair is a kinky motherfucker, no lie

Photo: (Bi)Curious Girls

I spent the night hanging out with my lesbian friend, Em. We checked out girls and danced in an empty club. I love M to death but after spending time with Em I always feel like:

We discussed doing something like that to some hapless girl at a club but then we just danced drunkenly by ourselves….HARD.

Moving on –

 

To bigger and better things I’m sure. Moving in with M is a dream – I’ve been daydreaming about the casual and spontaneous sex we’re going to have for about a week now. We haven’t gotten long term time with each other since we first started dating …before college, back in high school days and I’m a little desperate for some one-on-one time. Sure, fucking on a deadline is fun and adventurous, but I’m ready for the more regular  stuff again. And yet…I will sorely miss all my kinky friends and events while I move a whopping forty minutes away for the next few months but I know it’s for the best! Or at least I hope so. Although I will be with my best friend who happens to fuck my brains out pretty decently, I will be away from the co authors of this blog, my favorite sex stores, Friday nights at Bound, and my kinky friends. Good grief.

 

Now, what to do with that delayed stimulus I got this year in my refund…

Catching up (Dan Savage, More Armpit Sex Stuff, blah blah blah)

I can’t believe that it’s been just over a week since I went to a Dan Savage lecture and have yet to post about it. A part of me was waiting for the co-author to sign in but I suppose the Bystander effect took hold and nobody did anything….UNTIL NOW

So Mme Hovary and I went to see the acclaimed and perhap notorious Dan Savage speak at UMCP and get our books signed. In case you didn’t know, Dan Savage is a sex columnist (and author and journalist) who tends to address more…alternative sex questions with a forthrightness and fervor that I often compare to Dr. Phil’s commentary on his show. So, like his column, the lecture was in Q&A format. My question begged to know why the Armpit post of this blog is the most active. He first mentioned how the lack of articles on the armpit fetish drove many readers to the post and then went into the stigma attached to underarms in American culture. Apparently, one of the attractions to the undeodorized armpit include a cocktail of pheremones that can let a partner know what kind of sexual being the armpit owner is.

He also referred to a study (I’m dying to find it now) that found that couples are so attracted to a particular body scent chemistry that altering it with a new deod0rant or frangrance can lead to trouble between them. So, it would seem that there’s a delicate balance between pit pheremones and BO but keeping a healthy, clean lifestyle can ensure that the former gets the attention of a worthy mate.

Good times AND I got my book signed with blessings toward my sexology pursuits. I IMPLORE Mme Hovary to post the quotes from that glorious night.

“Good luck stealing my job”  - Dan Savage

Also, I won a bag of Cheetos for my question on cock rings. KAKOW!

Photo: Stockings

I love StumbleUpon for letting me on to some pretty pictures. I have to share.