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Warming vs. Tingling: A Race to the Bottom

August 14, 2008

To escape the predictable banality that comes from family reunions after the fifth day, the bf and I venture to Rite Aid for some entertainment and soothing aloe vera (for his epic sunburn). Having just had a lovely encounter with the Pink brand lube, I make my way to the family planning section to see what other options await me. There are tons!

There are about three shelves of lubes in pretty tubes, boxes, and sampler packs and they all look like colorful toys to me. KY, Durex (play), and Astroglide of course dominated the shelves and upon closer look I notice that all the lubes are one of three types – warming, tingling and regular (we’ll negate massage oils). The bf and I cringed at the sight of this because our history with the former two has been disorienting at best, outright painful at worst:

Warming Lubes:
This is a concept best reserved for massage oils, genitalia- areas that filled with blood when stimulated – generally has no business being “warmed” . Upon the delivery of a handjob using the stuff, no painful shrieks or convulsing was encountered until the lube founds its way into the penis and scrotal region. The bf freaked out and urgently exclaimed “MY DICK IS ON FIRE” And after some diligent scrubbing and therapy, he finally rid himself of the lube. I thought, being somewhat of a masochist, I might enjoy this sensation better – my vulva was never “on fire” but the sensation was not a pleasant one.

Tingling (i.e. Icy) Lubes
This lube had all the effects of toothpaste for me and “tiny, spiny needles” for my bf’s cock. I should have known better: tingling is the word Listerine chose to describe the overwhelming, explosive power of mint in its abominable products. Something about my lady bits smelling like mint just didn’t sit right with either of us and the sensation was enough to completely distract from enjoying any sexual action.

Now, to be fair, this trial was a couple years ago and I have to think some progress has been made on the lubes since then. Maybe with some coaxing and a night when I can plan on not enjoying sex, I’ll try this stuff out again.

Oh and for the people who think they can do without, “I don’t need lube I’m wet enough” or “Lube takes away the friction”, I still recommend its use because lube can create all sorts of feelings meant to enhance your sex life. Especially high quality lubes just can’t be replicated by the human body (I pray) and, for a one night trial, they come in little trial packages or bottles.

So, BOOSH

2 comments

  1. Lube texture is also important. I prefer the gel types. The really slippery watery lubes just leak and get everywhere – the floor, the bed, everywhere. ID makes a nice one, the link for which is posted in our Products section.

    An AU professor said all lubes are not created equal. Like shoes. Different lubes for different occasions. Do you know more about this, cuz I’m a little fuzzy on the distinctions.


  2. […] Christmas lights do NOT make great bondage tools – they heat up really quickly (not in the good way) and I wouldn’t trust a knot to em […]



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