The Abominable Art of the Flirt

August 28, 2008


I hate getting hit on these days. Where’s the romance? The suaveness? The tact? The respect? I feel like of late pick up lines are being hurled at me just as violently and maddeningly as insults.

The honks – I can’t believe people still do this. What exactly is the objective anyway? You get my attention and then what? Unless you plan on pulling over or honking out your phone number via morse code, the honk gets absolutely nothing accomplished except to leave you looking like a jerk. More often than not, the honk will scare me, causing my to jump out of my skin and leave me livid instead of even remotely enamored.

Cat calls and other “calls”: If you have to YELL at me to get my attention, then maybe you’re not in the right mind set to be picking me up at that moment. Better yet, the yells to follow up the previous transgressions; they usually go something like “HEY DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME?!” Those sound like threats to me. One young gent even gave further follow up “Hey I still didn’t get your number”. Yes, why thank you, I didn’t even notice that I didn’t give you my number, my bad. Why not just take the time to walk up to me and talk to me like a human being and not like your disobedient dog.

Third grade tactics – You know this. Someone will come up to me and tell me his friend likes me. Seriously? What’s his problem that he can’t handle the issue himself? Chances are I’ve run into this person and he just awkwardly stared at me while I was busy being hot shit. Grow a pair.

And my readers might think that these high standards would exclude anyone trying to hit on me in this day and age. Not true. Some people still manage to seduce me through a lovely conversation or an innocent compliment. This is proof that my existence on this planet doesn’t entitle anyone to treat me like crap.

One comment

  1. Not gonna lie…I kinda like getting hit on by strangers on the street. That said, I don’t get too many obnoxious admirers.

    So how do you typically respond to the unwanted attention?

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