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How to Find Kinky Friends?

September 6, 2008

Usually through facebook, I find myself being messaged to death recently about the bdsm scene in DC and how to make kinky friends (not play partners)

I can see the importance of having such friends, because sometimes you just need to talk about random kinky things without worrying about some vanilla friend cringing at you or else immediately arguing at (not with) you for whatever fetish. I guess budding fetishists have an especially hard time with making friends because they want to be discreet. Frankly, I don’t know what to tell these people anymore.

How do I have a wealth of kinky friends and networks? I’m not discreet. I’m comfortable with my

I know you like porn, kinky friends

I know you like porn, kinky friends

sexuality and enjoy talking about sex in a thoughtful, academic way from time to time. In MOST cases, a future friend will take me aside and ask about foot fetishes or bondage etc. We’ll laugh and get serious and I’ll say whatever I know on the subject and then it’s off to someone first night at Bound. And, predictably, not all of my groups of friends know each other as the kink is often on the down-low and I try to respect everyone’s preference for discretion.

This isn’t always the case. Sometimes people reveal clues..here’s how:

1. Watching some hilarious porn with friends, one friend expressed how plain the porn was and when the kinky shit was going to start.

2. Going shopping with a female coworker, she picked up a necklace and likened it to anal beads. I said something like “Yeah I don’t think that would work” “No,” she said sincerely “That’s a shame.”

3. Hanging out with friends I was lying across a couch when someone lifted up my legs to sit under them. His fingers grazed my toes and I swear to God I saw him sneak a quick sniff! We’re BFF now.

4. On numerous occasions I’ve had people flip through some of my sexual literature noting passages with interest.

I hope that anyone who has sound advice on this matter could contribute!

One comment

  1. Renn faire people are often into bdsm, for whatever reason. Something to do with the corsets?

    Or, you could go to a leather/fetish conference. DC has Leather Pride each summer. The panel on cathartic flogging was pretty interesting.

    And if you hang out at Midnight enough, the kinky people will find you.

    I guess the internet is another way to find people, though I personally haven’t done it…



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