Archive for October, 2008

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Sex News + Poll: What’s normal anymore?!

October 29, 2008

I noticed that the filters picked up a lot of stats for the past couple weeks so I thought this theme would be “one in  three/four/five”

One in Five Brits think monogamy isn’t sexy, one in three think it’s not natural

One in Five Teens aren’t getting the sex talk

One in Five Married men have had extra marital affairs during their marriage

One in Five Teens have been victims of dating abuse

One in Three Brits have knocked boots at work, lots of other stats, too

One in Four American Teens have an STD

Man those Brits have their stats together.

Annnnnd Smoke A Poll Wednesday Means:

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Lazy, Sexy Weekend: Now with Burlesque!

October 26, 2008

M came down Friday night and we slept well into the next afternoon. Serious laziness – it’s the kind that actually leaves you exhausted from doing absolutely nothing for hours at a time. So, it was no surprise when Rae showed up to meet M and I was nearly too tired to go out for the night. But Rae convinced me to go to Palace of Wonders to see a burlesque show and have a couple drinks.

Anyone in the DC area ought to check this place out – it’s in a shady part of town but it’s very much a old-school carnival themed bar/venue complete with freak show attractions, popcorn, the pinstriped curtains. We got there and had a few drinks – M and Rae got along just fine and upon learning Rae wasn’t wearing panties under her dress, I think they got along even better. The show was amazing but M playing with Rae was extremely distracting and I wasn’t exactly sad to leave with a lovely lady and very anxious bf. The ride home was…interesting, with all of us all over each other, we got quite a few confused and intrigued looks.

We got home and fooled around some, Rae received punishments for her past infractions including:

Balancing a piece of candy against a wall while maintaining top notch

Too much flailing here

Too much flailing here

kneeling posture. This was fu cause I got to try out my new spreader bar,

Writing lines “I will not make excuses” while bound

16 hairbrush strokes to the thighs – the squealing she did for this got M from 0 to raging hard-on so fast that it caught him off guard.

We kept busy from 3 AM to 7 AM …slept a few hours and woke up to play well into this afternoon. Let’s see…I recall something like a 669 and killer cuddling and M criticizing my style of D/s, It’s all good, I think everyone came twice with the regular mix of choking, control, bondage and the glass dildo. And, with great feedback from both parties, I’m curious to see where this could lead. Unfortunately, nowhere in the next two weeks as I have to study study study for the GRE. Maybe I can steal a few kisses in the meantime.

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To Punish or Not to Not Punish? I Can Justify My Feelings on This…

October 24, 2008

First off, my co-author, Mme. Hovary will return soon with all kinds of lovely posts. I miss them so.

So, Rae cheated on her diet big time – fried food, alcohols and cigarettes – but I can’t punish her cause she’s sick. It’s so lame. I’m very much disappointed with her for screwing up but that maternal-ish nature in me that wants to hug and kiss her until she gets better is getting in the way.

 

But, as I type this out, I can’t help but think that maybe her little cold was caused by the previously made transgression. Smoking damages the immune system last I checked as does excessive alcohol intake. I’m not sure how funnel cake could be related but I’m sure it’s not doing any good for anybody. Oh wait wait wait I found this random article that says fried foods cause cancer!!! So, yeah, Boosh.

I’m no scientist but I’m perfectly comfortable with concluding that Rae is sick and missing out on major fun time with me because she deviated from the healthy diet/lifestyle changes I set up for her.  I could just let it go and assume that the cold is enough punishment but now I’m far too comfortable with tanning her ass for slipping up in the first place.

Once again, blogging alleviates my guilt and directs me to solution that finds me in the right. Awesome.

Now watch me get carried away with these cool new polls

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What is your favorite boob size?

October 22, 2008

In honor of the new polls and Breast Awareness Month, here is a poll about breasts that in its futile subjectivity will probably not give any useful insight on the topic. Vote away, regardless!

My answer is A cup. Cause I’d just rather go sans bra.

I proclaim Wednesdays from this Wednesday forward, “Smoke A Poll” Wednesdays which will provide sexy yet pointless polls to determine just how kinky this blog’s readers are.

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Weekend in Annapolis: Piercings, Bondage, Etc.

October 20, 2008

Spent the weekend with my sweetie, M, in Annapolis, where he’s finishing up his final year of college. Aj was conveniently unavailable for us to play with, so we made our own fun. HOWEVER, our firtst night together was pretty unsavory. For those of you considering an apadrvya piercing for your or your partner’s cock please consider the following:

1. They take forever to heal – M’s took something close to a year, which meant very little sex, which meant we fought fairly often.

2. The cock becomes dependent on the piercing to sustain an erection – that means if you wanna go without for one night, you basically can’t. M tells me sex feels just spectacular with the piercing but when oral or anal comes into the picture the piercing has to come out and keeping it hard takes just about everything I have in me.

3. The jewelry has to fit PERFECTLY – We learned this after losing pieces of the barbell and after an oversized one did some painful stuff to my vagina. Never again. Oh and if you get the wrong metal your body will reject the piercing in a gross way (M has lost two rungs of his Jacob’s ladder to this)

4. Blow job givers must do a complete overhaul on their techniques – I happen to be blessed with a benign tumor on the roof of my mouth that gives a hollow click when the piercing makes an appearance. Also, it tickles.

The middle two are especially pertinent to my weekend; M managed to get a new barbell whose metal I am apparently severely allergic to and taking out the piercing resulted in him unable to orgasm. Gah. But we got past it and had some amazing adventures in orafice exploration.

M tied me up…extremely well (using my new green rope, yay). Something about being very tightly bound gets me worked up so much that I’m just dying to cum before the last knot is finished. He barely managed to skim and spank my exposed skin before I came every breath out of my body. It was intense. I actually was a pretty decent sub that night – he would just give me that look of “I will end you” and I just suppressed all switchy urges. Actually, that look reminded me of the scene in Pitch Black where Vin Diesel destroys the hammer-head whooping monster with his badassery and then declares “He did NOT know who he was fucking with” It’s funny because for a long time M struggled to find ways to punish lil masochistic me and he’s become terribly creative to get around it. I can never tell what’s going on in his head and that makes me get my shit together.

Good times and then there was sushi, soccer, Octoberfest, watching Exit to Eden (worst soundtrack I’ve ever heard) and cleaning M’s room.

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52 Words for Breast = Happy Boobie Month!

October 15, 2008

DOUBLE POST – Screw my life’s desires, more importantly, it’s National Breast Awareness Month! Love your lactoids! Caress your cans! Inspect your itty bitties! And so on…

Here’s a list of other names for breasts, brought to you by Everything2.com. I encourage you to use all of them before the month is out.

  1. babooms
  2. bajongas
  3. baloobas
  4. bazongas/bazongies/bazonkers
  5. bazookas
  6. bazooms
  7. boobs/boobies
  8. bosom
  9. bouncers
  10. breasts – of course
  11. bust
  12. buzwams
  13. chest
  14. chesticles
  15. diddleys
  16. double D’s
  17. droopers
  18. floppers
  19. funbags
  20. garbanzos/garbonzas
  21. gazongas
  22. goodies
  23. headlights
  24. honkers
  25. hooters
  26. jigglers
  27. jubes
  28. jugs
  29. knockers
  30. lactoids
  31. lungs
  32. mammaries/mams/mamms
  33. mazoombas
  34. melons
  35. milkers
  36. mounds
  37. nubbins
  38. palookas
  39. puppies
  40. rack
  41. ta-tas
  42. tatties
  43. teats
  44. thingies
  45. tits/titties
  46. tooters
  47. torpedoes
  48. whoppers
  49. wobblers
  50. wongas
  51. yabbos
  52. zeppelins
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My Vocation is Clear: Sex Ed

October 15, 2008

So with the support of my friends and M, I’ve decided to get started on the course to being a Sex Therapist and Educator. Before this decision made around…oh…midnight last night, I was studying for the GMAT for an MBA or something with plans to become a therapist later on. Even typing it out now, that plan doesn’t really make much sense – why should I hold off on a career I’ve been excited about since I was in middle school?!

That question wasn’t rhetorical…I was actually unsure at first if all the sex talk and advice I could dole out was just for gossip sake (nope) or if I liked it just because I’m horny a lot (not so much anymore). It’s taken about six years to figure all this out even though when people who aren’t my parents ask what my life plans are, I always say “sex therapist”. Business was fun for my undergrad, but managerial accounting AGAIN? No, thank you. Did it for my parents anyway.

I’m afraid to tell them this plan of mine although with my streak of abnormal pursuits (piercings, tattoos, cutting all my hair off, being bi – they don’t officially know that one yet, but they know), my choice to research and educate in sexuality shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. And what parent can turn down a kid with a PhD?! None.

Plus, I figure there’s gotta be some job where marketing and sex therapy or sexology come together (hehe, come together)