Archive for January, 2009

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Secretary

January 31, 2009

I finally watched the movie Secretary yesterday, which probably makes me the last person on Earth to do so.  It appears to be a universally beloved film, but I’ll add my thumbs up anyway.

Makes you want to fuck right there.

As it turns out, I was PO’d at BF by the end of the night, so no spankings were administered.

Next time he’s over I will try to coax him into trying the riding crop in my closet.  The first time he used it was last weekend to get me out of bed in the morning.

Instead, that little jolt provoked me to grind against the mattress.  I’m glad little has changed.

Sometimes he’ll bite my legs just before we fuck.  It’s not particularly pleasureable, less so than a crop, yet my body still gets super excited when he does.

Maybe someday I’ll understand how that works.

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Babymaking Music

January 29, 2009

Which tunes put you in the mood?

Buddy Guy’s album Sweet Tea is some sexy-ass blues.  The first time BF played it for me I had to leave the room.  I thought I would cum on the sidewalk as I raced home.

I also have a weird sexy association with Feist.  This is largely due to a one-night stand in which the gentleman du jour asked if I liked Feist as he invited me to bed.  I hadn’t really heard of her before then.

Prince’s voice oozes sex in an androgynous way.  Marvin Gaye and Al Greene?  mmmmmmm.

BF wouldn’t mind fucking Shirley Manson of Garbage, in the way where you’d cry or spontaneously combust after she was done with you.

But I get the sense white artists are not as sexualized as are black artists.  Unsurprising in the larger context of historical U.S. racial archetypes.  Or am I just projecting/a racist bastard?

Nottibits, can you create a poll?  Maybe Voices I’d Like to Fuck, or a little survey of the sexiest musical genres.

Also, as I finally caught up on Mlle. Nottibits’s back posts, I’d like to say C cups are my favorite.  My B cups are all right, and won’t sag in 20 years, but C cups seem way more feminine and fun.

On deck – got any Valentine’s Day plans?  Good night and happy belated hump day!

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Warning: Glass Dildos Can Break

January 26, 2009

I am so so sad right now.

I was screwin’ around and not taking care of my best toy and I paid the ultimate price…twice actually. The first time, the handle broke clean off and I moved on. Tonight, but a week later from the first incident, a good chunk broke off from falling from my bed to the hardwood floor. I nearly convinced myself it was still good until I noticed the crystal blade formed on the corner of my beloved toy and realized that broken glass in my soft girly parts isn’t where I wanna take chances.

The real problem is that the toy was hand made and my attempts to find a similar toy have been fruitless. I swear I nearly wept a few minutes ago. So, so sad.

005

RIP

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Tyra and Bisexuality and and TWINS and I LOVE YOU TWO

January 24, 2009

With the weather being just a bit unbearable lately, I’ve found myself watching Tyra during my lunch406px-fendi06 break during the week. Frankly, the woman drives me insane with some of the most superficial approaches to …well, just about everything. However, her tacky, ignorant comments stand in stark contrast to some of the pertinent, weighty issues she addresses on her show.

This past week seemed to have a trend in homo- and bisexuality – yesterday it was bisexuality and whether it’s real or bogus. Dr. Drew Pinsky and Andy Dick made an appearance (as well as a not so subtle shameless plug for some VH1 show) along with three pairs of identical twins*, and the group attempted to reach a conclusion on what constitutes bisexuality. Now, Andy Dick relating himself to King Kong, while hilarious, was completely irrelevant. But then they got to the twins…which in a way had some relevance to scientific study and the supposed “bi” gene (???) and Tyra completely butchered the interviews by first insinuating that the bi individuals were gay and then goading her audience to think the same. Lord have sweet mercy, I just wanted to end her.

But for all the ending of her that I craved, I started to understand the issue when Dr. Drew expanded on the complexities involved with defining bisexuality. He has found that indeed some people do use bisexuality to graduate into homosexuality and some are just experimenting and for all the spaces in between there is a huge spectrum in the types of bisexuals there are. I guess that’s really what Tyra was getting at if not in the least tactful way imaginable. ANYwho. I can’t stay mad at her – that spectrum does make it tough for Tyra to get a clear understand ing of bi peoples. Indeed that spectrum is the reason most bisexuals I know choose not to be labeled, not because they’re hipster-indie trash in denial but because the word “bi” just doesn’t cut it. I always have to give a disclaimer when I use it – Yes, I’m bi but I generally prefer women and don’t pursue guys – sexually I’m all about women, men are kind of like a fetish, they’re great for BDSM and blah blah blah. M and I had a terribly rough start because of this.

So, what’s to be learned from this episode of Tyra? When people say they’re bi, try not to judge them – in fact no back talk is necessary for such a statement – because, unless you’re Dr Drew, chances are you don’t know their sexuality better than them.

*One pair was the Ikki twins of Double Shot at Love fame. Do not watch this show. Not ever. I don’t care who you are, you will lose respect for women, men, bisexuals, MTV, and yourself by watching this show. I have 😦

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A Quiet Evening At Home

January 22, 2009

Hosting M and his friends has left me…just spent. Financially, emotionally, mentally and certainly physically after 8 hours in DC cold. Ineeded everything to be simple and stress free to offset the tumultuous intensity of the energy of these past few days. Playful, carefree sex in a sea of every comforter and blanket I own really did the trick. M and I sank deep into pillows and made out like we did in high school – the giggly, wandering but purposeful kissing with both eyes open. I was warm and pretty and desperate for IT

I ended up cumming in the usual way – on my back, wrists held over my head, staring into his eyes, body writhing. It was what came next that was quite a surprise.

M told me to tie up his hands and to make him cum. I may have hesitated for a moment before getting right to it. I found that weird spot on the ear that really makes anyone shudder – I think he hates how quickly that works – and I teased it with my tongue while skimming my nails on his sides. Then I did something that I refer to as “threatening to fuck” otherwise known as teasing by poising myself just above his cock and occasionally dipping a bit down with the slightest sway of my hips. Fucking is always imminent at this point. But I persisted in kissing those spots on his neck and on his hips that usually I have no access to. He melted into blankets while the grip on his ties tightened and his feet arched. The fucking commenced Cow Girl style and ended kissing, untying and Radiohead.

I’m much better now.

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You can’t always get what you want

January 21, 2009

But it’s delicious when you do.

Everyone likes a little transgression.  Rules are more fun when you can break them.

I spent Thanksgiving weekend with BF’s family in another state.  He told me beforehand to expect a dry spell in his mother’s house.  He shares his room with his younger brother when they’re both home, as was the case for the holidays.

So for propriety’s sake, I wasn’t supposed to seduce him.  Fair enough.  I packed 2 Durexes anyway.  Always be prepared, eh?

New England is lovely and his mother was lovely.  After cruising the coastline Friday, we had an hour to kill before dinner with his friends.  We were in his bed and he was grumbling about lack of prophylactics.

Of course, I volunteered mine.  He fetched my purse, asked his brother not to come in, and hung the purse on the door.

His brothers had hung pictures of his high school girlfriend on his wall, just for my arrival.  But more surreal was the dinosaur bedding.  I pulled a dino sheet over us just in case our quickie wasn’t quick enough.

I had the sensation that this apparently is what I missed out on in high school.

Fortunately his mother did not come home, because she’s super nice and it’s a small house.  That would be awkward.  We chatted briefly with his brothers, then drove off.  As we backed out of the driveway, I looked in the mirror and realized my hair was a mess.  Oops.

And Saturday evening, we arrived home late after watching Christmas videos at another friend’s house.

We curled up on the mattress his mom had set up for me downstairs.  He was feeling pretty good, so he pulled me into the bathroom and propped me up against the sink, then against the wall.

The shower light cast a hazy brown glow through the curtain.  And the nice thing about fucking while standing is it’s a lot easier to kiss.

I hope his dog didn’t spill the contents of that trash can onto the floor, as she often does.

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Inauguration weekend in DC

January 18, 2009

Many thanks to Mlle. Nottibits for the free tickets to the Green Ball last night!  BF couldn’t come so I brought a ravishing lady friend instead.

She wasn’t on the list so we were prepared to trade sexual favors to get in.  But Arm Candy looked great, her boobs were on display, and she really did a bang-up job of talking her way in.  No favors necessary.

Lots of beautiful women there, and some alkies too.  Interesting mix of young and old.

We hung out with a couple gentlemen we met and took advantage of the open bar.  Am now Facebook friends with one of them and am hoping he will send a picture!

The hip-pop opening act was a bit flat, mostly because the crowd was really white.  The older people seemed unimpressed.

But Wyclef Jean performed at the end of the night and was AMAZING.  He immediately reminded me of Marvin Gaye: shirtless, sweaty, talented, and really fucking sexy.  I would’ve done him right there.

I suspect I’m not the only one.  All the younger people pressed up toward the stage, and the women seemed particularly enthralled.

It was also fun to watch guys grope their dates as if there wasn’t 200 people next to them.  But if BF had come, I would have wanted to be groped too.

We also watched this lady grind her ass against her SO, and Arm Candy figured they’d go home and have riotous sex after the ball.    All in all, Arm Candy and I were delightfully tipsy and had a splendid time.

BTW, PostSecret today had a funny/sexy postcard featuring the Obamas.  Happy long weekend and good luck getting around!