December 24, 2009

I’ve been reading Jitterbug Perfume for a book club. I hated this book at the beginning but it grew on me as most books do. Periodically, Pan makes an appearance in the novel, infecting those around him with sudden sexual desire, nightmares and other strangeness. The victim would just be hanging out, doing whatever and suddenly feel lustful (and often ashamed of it). The book goes on about god knows what but this stuck with me.
When I feel like fucking, it’s incredibly urgent and overwhelming. Come on, let’s go screw something my libido screams Fuck  consequences, fuck whatever bullshit you’re doing right now, let’s go. Let’s go. Ugh, it’s always inconvenient – during work, before I go to bed, on the metro – but I have no choice but to deal with it. When I saw Black Snake Moan, I saw Christina Ricci pulling at that chain and was sorely jealous. There’s also a part in Dreamcatcher (the book) where Mr. Grey is incensed by his new body’s desire for a BACON SANDWICH WITH MAYO and indulges in excess. I think Jonesey had a hand in it…anyway he ended up sick. I often end up sick. After a whirlwind of physical indulgence I can’t imagine the motivation behind the urgency.

Only a few hours ago, I was depressed with a number of things. And now, with this possession, I can’t let those things bother me.

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