Archive for the ‘Interesting Fact’ Category

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Catching up (Dan Savage, More Armpit Sex Stuff, blah blah blah)

February 18, 2009

I can’t believe that it’s been just over a week since I went to a Dan Savage lecture and have yet to post about it. A part of me was waiting for the co-author to sign in but I suppose the Bystander effect took hold and nobody did anything….UNTIL NOW

So Mme Hovary and I went to see the acclaimed and perhap notorious Dan Savage speak at UMCP and get our books signed. In case you didn’t armpitloveknow, Dan Savage is a sex columnist (and author and journalist) who tends to address more…alternative sex questions with a forthrightness and fervor that I often compare to Dr. Phil’s commentary on his show. So, like his column, the lecture was in Q&A format. My question begged to know why the Armpit post of this blog is the most active. He first mentioned how the lack of articles on the armpit fetish drove many readers to the post and then went into the stigma attached to underarms in American culture. Apparently, one of the attractions to the undeodorized armpit include a cocktail of pheremones that can let a partner know what kind of sexual being the armpit owner is.

He also referred to a study (I’m dying to find it now) that found that couples are so attracted to a particular body scent chemistry that altering it with a new deod0rant or frangrance can lead to trouble between them. So, it would seem that there’s a delicate balance between pit pheremones and BO but keeping a healthy, clean lifestyle can ensure that the former gets the attention of a worthy mate.

Good times AND I got my book signed with blessings toward my sexology pursuits. I IMPLORE Mme Hovary to post the quotes from that glorious night.

“Good luck stealing my job”  – Dan Savage

Also, I won a bag of Cheetos for my question on cock rings. KAKOW!

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Lessons Learned from a Weekend of Gaiety (Complete with Gays)

February 11, 2009

I spent the better half of last weekend with the gay, male co author of this blog laughing and dancing and drinking and generally having a really good time all this while nearly exclusively in the company of other gay men. Here are some things I learned.

1. There is no such thing as a Poppers Waft Test – I don’t know what on earth I was thinking. I suppose being pretty averse to strong smells, I thought that a gentle waft from an open container would give me the sense of the drug without the effects. My immediate reaction to the rush was “Boy, this a LOT like the time I accidentally did a whippet while finishing a can of whipped cream”   Yeah, I’m not too bright sometimes.

(which may incidentally be related to earlier fuckups)

2. Cockrings are ubiquitous – Much like the holy spirit or “fail” captioned images perhaps, the rings are really just everywhere in a big way. I walked into a gay bar/night club and the first thing I see is a cock ring. I was shown probably no less than a dozen before the night was out and told about the many more that existed in a world that I am clearly unfamiliar with. I met ONE guy who did not have one.  It’s important to note that these rings were probably more expensive than any of the jewelry I own.

3. There’s a whole world outside of boxers, people. I was aware of boxers and briefs…I knew about g strings and jock straps on guys but having never seen one in person, I wasn’t sure what to think. But I now know that there are no excuses when it comes to lack of male panty variety. Jocks straps seem to have provided the foundation for the myriad of design, fabric and color variations now existent in male underwear. Fashion jocks make pantsing men at clubs a worthy hobby – who knows what you’ll get! Fishnet? Hot pink? Zippers? Tanga? Guess?*

*Get it?

I’d say that for all the sex I wasn’t having in the meantime, I got some hearty information and sexy tidbits to work into my own sex life. I somehow convinced M he wants a metal cockring and perhaps with some candy or homemade dinners I can get him into a colorful jock strap soon.

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Note to self

January 16, 2009

It’s harder to feel sexy when you’ve eaten too much.

I hate self-restraint.  Much prefer to have someone else do that for me.

The good news is I’ve been working out a little, though it’s difficult to squeeze in time before or after work.  Exercise does nothing for my waistline, but muscles are super sexy.

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Thank you Make Me Blush Paddle, for there was much blushing to be had

December 14, 2008

Conveniently enough, as I just got a brand new paddle in the mail, Rae calls it quits on the D/s side of our relationship. Yet for the sake of science, curiosity, and the fact that I probably will never get to wield it on M, she gave her ass over to let me try this new paddle out. And I wanted to take some pictures with Xmas lights…also, for science.

The immediate appeal of this item was the color – anyone with a collection of impact toys will notice how pretty much everything is either

How delightfully pink

How delightfully pink

black or red. I refuse to settle for a dull collection of toys (I cherish my green spreader bar and rope!) so a bright baby pink paddle is what I got – and I think it’s one of Rae’s favorite colors, so bonus. Upon receiving it, I noticed that there is a severe lack of surface area compromised by the cut outs of the XOXO pattern and the paddle’s purse-sized dimensions (a blessing and a curse it seems). I bent Rae over her little stool and prepped her bare ass; I was determined to leave that XOXO pattern all over it!

The complete lack of wind resistance gave a satisfying THWACK, maybe a light pink “O” and goosebumps but not much else…until I flipped the impact side to the black half of the paddle. The pink half, while cuter, seemed to be made of a softer, more forgiving leather. The black side got a bit of squirming and the full XOXO. YES. Shortly after that discovery I realized that the paddle had more give than a traditional paddle – I could bend it and whip it across skin without damaging the toy or the skin. It wasn’t until I started really dragging the paddle though the hit that I started to get the results I was looking for. Rae even told me later that while a more rigid paddle would have made her melt, the new one had the kind of versatility in sensory stimulation to get her to subspace and back.

A little problem solving creativity got me pretty far with the Make Me Blush Paddle, anyone with the same ingenuity could likely wield it as a beginner’s or warm up toy with success and a couple XO’s with the right amount of force.

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Does it feel like an alien is trying to burst violently from within your womb?

November 13, 2008

You could have Mittelschmerz.

Whenever I go to my doctors and explain this pain as Mittelschmerz, they are ALWAYS flabbergasted that I know the term. This means that not enough women know what’s going on with this crazy feeling or maybe they just don’t know the deceptively fun word for it. Hey, maybe you or some lady you know gets mittelschmertz, take a look at these symptoms and find out:

  • Mid cycle pain in the abdomen
  • Tenderness in the abdomen region that occasionally changes sides
  • Sharp pain in the ovary area that feels like someone is STABBING YOU TO DEATH WITH A DULL BLADE VIA THE OVARY

Mittelschmerz is actually the keen ability to feel when the egg is bursting through the ovaries right before it embarks on its journey to the womb. I read somewhere that I should be lucky to know where my eggs are and what they’re doing and I have yet to make sense of that. Seeing as my eggs tend to create cysts upon their ovarian exit, I greatly resent this ability.  If you are suffering this horrible, wretched pain, there is a cure and it is birth control(hormonal contraceptives)….well, or pregnancy…really anything that stops ovulation.

My two cents on mittelsmerz…

the_more_you_know2

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Sex News + Poll: What’s normal anymore?!

October 29, 2008

I noticed that the filters picked up a lot of stats for the past couple weeks so I thought this theme would be “one in  three/four/five”

One in Five Brits think monogamy isn’t sexy, one in three think it’s not natural

One in Five Teens aren’t getting the sex talk

One in Five Married men have had extra marital affairs during their marriage

One in Five Teens have been victims of dating abuse

One in Three Brits have knocked boots at work, lots of other stats, too

One in Four American Teens have an STD

Man those Brits have their stats together.

Annnnnd Smoke A Poll Wednesday Means:

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To Punish or Not to Not Punish? I Can Justify My Feelings on This…

October 24, 2008

First off, my co-author, Mme. Hovary will return soon with all kinds of lovely posts. I miss them so.

So, Rae cheated on her diet big time – fried food, alcohols and cigarettes – but I can’t punish her cause she’s sick. It’s so lame. I’m very much disappointed with her for screwing up but that maternal-ish nature in me that wants to hug and kiss her until she gets better is getting in the way.

 

But, as I type this out, I can’t help but think that maybe her little cold was caused by the previously made transgression. Smoking damages the immune system last I checked as does excessive alcohol intake. I’m not sure how funnel cake could be related but I’m sure it’s not doing any good for anybody. Oh wait wait wait I found this random article that says fried foods cause cancer!!! So, yeah, Boosh.

I’m no scientist but I’m perfectly comfortable with concluding that Rae is sick and missing out on major fun time with me because she deviated from the healthy diet/lifestyle changes I set up for her.  I could just let it go and assume that the cold is enough punishment but now I’m far too comfortable with tanning her ass for slipping up in the first place.

Once again, blogging alleviates my guilt and directs me to solution that finds me in the right. Awesome.

Now watch me get carried away with these cool new polls