Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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Possessed

December 24, 2009

I’ve been reading Jitterbug Perfume for a book club. I hated this book at the beginning but it grew on me as most books do. Periodically, Pan makes an appearance in the novel, infecting those around him with sudden sexual desire, nightmares and other strangeness. The victim would just be hanging out, doing whatever and suddenly feel lustful (and often ashamed of it). The book goes on about god knows what but this stuck with me.
When I feel like fucking, it’s incredibly urgent and overwhelming. Come on, let’s go screw something my libido screams Fuck  consequences, fuck whatever bullshit you’re doing right now, let’s go. Let’s go. Ugh, it’s always inconvenient – during work, before I go to bed, on the metro – but I have no choice but to deal with it. When I saw Black Snake Moan, I saw Christina Ricci pulling at that chain and was sorely jealous. There’s also a part in Dreamcatcher (the book) where Mr. Grey is incensed by his new body’s desire for a BACON SANDWICH WITH MAYO and indulges in excess. I think Jonesey had a hand in it…anyway he ended up sick. I often end up sick. After a whirlwind of physical indulgence I can’t imagine the motivation behind the urgency.

Only a few hours ago, I was depressed with a number of things. And now, with this possession, I can’t let those things bother me.

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XXXMas Gift Giveaway

December 8, 2009

Only because it’s frickin awesome, I have to post this promotion for a kinky toy giveaway on Fetlife. I would kill really to have anything on this list of amazing items.

http://fetlife.com/sit_on_santas_lap

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EH….or meh?

December 3, 2009

Being black, everytime I start dating someone new outside my race (which is extremely often) I can’t help but wonder if I’m being taken as some kind of novelty or what. This is certainly not unique to me however 9 times out of 10 I’m told “You know you’re the first black girl I ever…such and such”

In many cases, my race is linked to stereotypes – not necessarily the bad kind but just …how about inoffensive assumptions? Where am I going with this?

I’m starting to get involved with a non-black, non-Korean woman here who’s dated other black women before…exclusively I think. I didn’t really make anything of it until she asked me about these R&B artists I’d never heard of, then demanding “How is it possible you don’t know them?!” Why would I? Ask me about alternative rock or drum & bass and we might nod heads more often. I dunno, I guess it’s ok to assume I like R&B but then judging me harshly based on the fact that I don’t care for it yet am willing to listen is a little bit of a turn off. She demand-asked “Do you know any music at all?!” Well, I studied music for six and half years but that doesn’t count I guess. Sigh.

Whatever, I’m gunna fuck the shit out of her tonight.

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The First Thing I StumbledUpon Today

November 5, 2009

Perfect.
After a long night of prepping for a dinner party, I took a hot shower, masturbating for about 3/4 of it. It was nice but I would’ve loved an extra hour to dedicate to the task. I remember a time in my life where I’d spend an entire day masturbating or at least an entire morning. Now, I’m lucky if I get a hot second to myself…but in the meantime I’ve trained my body to adapt to this time constraint. I flood my brain with images and words that bring me to an orgasm with a few pumps of my glass dildo but I imagine that being incredibly horny all day helps, too.

This time I imagined my current crush, a girl I met last week with a beautiful mouth. I imagined her in a strap on fucking me senseless with moans and “I’m gunna cum so hard” spilling out of her beautiful mouth.

Ahh…maybe I need to take a sick day soon.

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See the Light

November 2, 2009

It’s freezing here and this photo warms me up

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Indeed

November 1, 2009

I’ve been watching an obscene amount of The L Word lately – I was so behind for so long and finally have the time to watch this ridiculous melange of Lifetime and softcore porn.

So, I’m on season 4 and there’s a dinner party where Jenny says something like if you’re a lesbian then you wanted a monkey as a pet as a little girl and straight girls wanted horses. Everyone at the party immediately dismisses this crank nonsense because Jenny’s generally considered insane..I do too and I think on it some more. Were there any tells from my childhood revealing the sexual thing I am now?

I never wanted a monkey as a pet…I think I wanted a shark. None of my “deviancies” really needed to manifest themselves in any kind of telling habit or anything; I so enjoyed keeping my secrets. Thinking about it all now, I can barely recall my devotion and obsession with women. However, if I were ever to forget there are two physical manifestations of my gaydom as it was from age 12 to 15; my porn box, a shoe box with the insides lined with images of naked and half naked women from fashion magazines and my favorite binder with the insides lined with any picture I could find of Milla Jovovich.

It’s funny that I felt the need to keep the former a secret but never saw a problem with the latter. Now that I think about it my parents, who I never really came out to about anything, must have seen it at some point. I thought it was perfectly normal to have a small shrine to a female actress/model but now I’m thinking not so much.

Then there were the sleepovers, the GSA, the panties that weren’t mine, the panties/corsets/fishnets/handcuffs I bought as gifts, late night phone calls, and all the lesbian website porn viruses on the family computer… They must have suspected something. Or at least they did til I dated M. Ha, I fooled them all!

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Going the distance

March 12, 2009

Kudos to those stalwart individuals like Mlle. Nottibits who can sustain long-distance relationships.

Kudos to those ballsy/idiotic individuals who are ready to tie the knot.  I wish you the best.

Kudos to you who can juggle it all –  families, meaningful career, meaningful hobbies, meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, etc.

Sorry for the Dan Savage fail.  He was every ounce the delightfully inappropriate pottymouth you would expect.

Dan left 2 distinct impressions on me.

1) You know it’s love when you think his armpits smell fantastic.

2) Monogamy is normal, but it’s not natural.  Most people fuck up and cheat.  Open relationships and threesomes can be a good way to improve an otherwise monogamous relationship.

Commitment.  What’s the rush?

Nottibits – you’re a gem.  Good luck with the move, and have lots of fun and sex and illicit substances.  The District will not be as cool without you.  Let me know when you’re back.  I still owe you a drank, or many.

Good night, and good luck.