Posts Tagged ‘BDSM’

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Played with Fire, Got Burned, Whatever Whatever

January 9, 2010

It’s inevitable. In the world of BDSM, you’re gunna encounter crazies because not everyone comes into the lifestyle the way they should. Some of us are lucky enough to have that safe, sane, consensual kinky lover who opens us up and reaveals  and molds the kink there. Some, after tolerating the vanilla world long enough, stumble upon porn or literature that presents something new and exciting to try with the next partner. But alas, some – far too many in fact –  come from abuse, mental illness, usually and but also or insecurity.

I’d come across the latter before, and this was normally in the form of someone else’s problem er, I mean, partner. I heard horror stories of all kinds and was wary. But, after a number of play partners who were strong and stable, I became soft and let my guard down.

That’a how we come into the recent past where I started dating a submissive, young woman named, let’s say, Elle. In my defense, I suspected that from day one, Elle was a little insane. She called me at all hours, several times a day after our first date. She expressed being hurt that she was crazy about me but I didn’t return the sentiment…after the first date. She was frustatingly indirect and passive aggressive with me but insisted otherwise. Before our second date even, I said I was done with her because of the number of calls and demands.

But somehow we became fuck buddies – admittedly I was starved for sex at the time and happy to have a petite, masochistic body to play with. Actually, this may have been my first encounter with someone who genuinely enjoyed physical pain. I could slide my nails through her skin, bite, slap, pull and stretch her and she cried breathlessly for more. Had the craziness not persisted, knife and piercing play probably would have been in our near future. But tendencies like talking and acting like a four-year old child, jealousy, and the kind of emotional attachmant that tends toward obsession started to diminish any attraction to her.

Finally, after putting her job in jeopardy to see me and me not wanting to officially date her (or say those three words), the upper limit of crazy was reached: the insincere suicide threat. She said that she had never considered committing suicide before but, because no one loves her now,  she wants to do it. No no…I think she said “I don’t want to but there’s nothing else to do since no one loves me”  I freaked out and I talked about it with her for some time. It became more and more clear that she had no intention of committing suicide but I played along for a few more hours. At some point she left, saying I didn’t care enough about her or some such nonsense. Anyway, within five hours she told me that I wouldn’t want to see her again cause she’s crazy, that she had no intention to commit suicide ever, she berated me for not caring about her enough and finally she said that she got tickts for us to go on vacation for a week together next month.

Seriously? No. Not in your hare-brained life. I told her as much and that I never wanted to see her again. She said that as an aspiring counselor I should be able to deal with someone like her, someone with emotional issues. Never would I want potential patient and a lover to be the same person. Not ever.

So, anyway, I’m wary again

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I need to meet some vanilla guys with ponytails…Obviously

February 25, 2009

When it comes to the fetish world, I know I can’t judge anyone based on their outside appearance – I think it works most of the time when there’s a leash and collar involved but otherwise I’m just screwed. When I meet new people in the typical places,  I try to gauge them from some conversation usually to no avail (one friend just asks “what side of the coin are you on”, I envy his brazenness). Where am I going with this…

From the male subs I personally know, I’ve created a stereotype for just about all really tall, slim guys with ponytails.  It’s bad, it’s gotten so bad that now I see these types out and about and think they all have secretly longings to be caged or beaten or otherwise humiliated.  There’s one guy with a trench coat (of course he has a trench coat..) I see near my workplace and the thought of him quietly polishing my boots in a corner fills my heart with joy and spreads a mischievous grin across my face. Really, I should know better but friends like Lou (pictured below) just make it all that much harder for me to see these long haired guys as anything but submissives* Besides, racial stereotypes are sooooo last year, sexual lifestyle ones are all the rage especially as kink is getting extra popular these days.  And there are certainly worse stereotypes out there, yes?

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I’ll try to stop myself from thinking, daydreaming, fantasizing such things about the trench coated guy, god I hate to be so narrow-minded as to stereotype within the BDSM community.

*But, for the record, EVERY SINGLE GUY I know with long hair is a kinky motherfucker, no lie

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Christmas Light Bondage Part II

January 8, 2009

With a little bit of digging I found that lots of people have gone out and taken some nice Christmas light bondage photos.

There were lots out there of arguably raunchier scenes (Santa has no place here) but these five were my favorites.

Vania_bRachel Sian

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Also, where are all the guys bound in Christmas lights photos? Am I asking too much?

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Hiding Spreader Bars, How to

January 4, 2009

After having large, cumbersome spreader bars and no dungeon for quite a long time, I thought I’d post how I’ve managed to keep them out of my parents’ and others’ view.

I had two of these things in my college half-a-closet dorm room that I occasionally had to share with a roommate (I could never really keep roomies around…) The problem with spreader bars is to keep them readily available but ….out of sight. So I attached them to the ends of my bed and hung towels and washcloths on em. I would think that anyone who has to pay for the things would want a dual use for em and boy did I find it.

Now I keep them in my room, hanging from my curtain rod covered in a great number of fashion scarves. My mom came to visit me recently and I swear she asked me to make her one in dark red (mine’s Kelly green). Oh, did I laugh….

In the past I’ve used longer bars as curtain rods and as a hanger for some mobiles I’ve made.

Before long, my room will just be a front for an intricate weaving of spreader bars into beds, cabinets, and lamps. One can only hope.

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Light Bondage Photos – Probably NSFW…

December 18, 2008

And some photos I took to supplement the review of my newest paddle – no raunchy ones but I’m surprised that I don’t see more photos like this; Christmas lights really lend themselves to some pretty magical looking images…

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Lite Bondage

Lite Bondage - Had to hold them up with clothespins! Awesome.

If you look real close you can read the XOXO

If you look real close you can read the XOXO

I managed to get a good pic of the goosebumps. Neato.

I managed to get a good pic of the goosebumps. Neato.

Happy Holidays indeed.

P.S. Christmas lights do NOT make great bondage tools – they heat up really quickly (not in the good way) and I wouldn’t trust a knot to em either..

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Thank you Make Me Blush Paddle, for there was much blushing to be had

December 14, 2008

Conveniently enough, as I just got a brand new paddle in the mail, Rae calls it quits on the D/s side of our relationship. Yet for the sake of science, curiosity, and the fact that I probably will never get to wield it on M, she gave her ass over to let me try this new paddle out. And I wanted to take some pictures with Xmas lights…also, for science.

The immediate appeal of this item was the color – anyone with a collection of impact toys will notice how pretty much everything is either

How delightfully pink

How delightfully pink

black or red. I refuse to settle for a dull collection of toys (I cherish my green spreader bar and rope!) so a bright baby pink paddle is what I got – and I think it’s one of Rae’s favorite colors, so bonus. Upon receiving it, I noticed that there is a severe lack of surface area compromised by the cut outs of the XOXO pattern and the paddle’s purse-sized dimensions (a blessing and a curse it seems). I bent Rae over her little stool and prepped her bare ass; I was determined to leave that XOXO pattern all over it!

The complete lack of wind resistance gave a satisfying THWACK, maybe a light pink “O” and goosebumps but not much else…until I flipped the impact side to the black half of the paddle. The pink half, while cuter, seemed to be made of a softer, more forgiving leather. The black side got a bit of squirming and the full XOXO. YES. Shortly after that discovery I realized that the paddle had more give than a traditional paddle – I could bend it and whip it across skin without damaging the toy or the skin. It wasn’t until I started really dragging the paddle though the hit that I started to get the results I was looking for. Rae even told me later that while a more rigid paddle would have made her melt, the new one had the kind of versatility in sensory stimulation to get her to subspace and back.

A little problem solving creativity got me pretty far with the Make Me Blush Paddle, anyone with the same ingenuity could likely wield it as a beginner’s or warm up toy with success and a couple XO’s with the right amount of force.

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My Christmas List (PG-13 to XXX only)

December 3, 2008

Firstly, here are some items I highly recommend:

Bondage tape: It’s so colorful and although green is suspiciously elusive, redredtape2 and white can be combined for a candy cane effect that can turn anyone into a neatly tied package. I guess Christmas themed condoms will do the trick if you need to match. (Around $7 to $12)

Chocolate Whipped Cream: Sure it’s kind of cliche but have you tasted the chocolate? ($3 – $5)

Body Paint: I prefer the soap kind that washes off in the shower such as the Sesame Street Bubble Bath Finger Paint that way you can wash/paint hair, backs and genitals with no fear of staining, flaking or peeling. ($7 – $9)

And now some things I want:

The Edy “Glam Santa” Corset: I could totally wear this with jeans, right? glamsanta1

Mini Pink Clover Clamps: Probably nothing like the steely traps I’ve encountered but they’re just so damned cute

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Lipstick Vibrator: I don’t even masturbate with vibes but I really like toys that think they’re something else ( see: Sex Toy or Household Object Quiz) even so much that I might try em out again- I’ve been trying to get Rae to get one but to no avail.


It’s hard not to get greedy with all these splendid things around…and on sale.