Posts Tagged ‘Life’

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Lessons Learned from a Weekend of Gaiety (Complete with Gays)

February 11, 2009

I spent the better half of last weekend with the gay, male co author of this blog laughing and dancing and drinking and generally having a really good time all this while nearly exclusively in the company of other gay men. Here are some things I learned.

1. There is no such thing as a Poppers Waft Test – I don’t know what on earth I was thinking. I suppose being pretty averse to strong smells, I thought that a gentle waft from an open container would give me the sense of the drug without the effects. My immediate reaction to the rush was “Boy, this a LOT like the time I accidentally did a whippet while finishing a can of whipped cream”   Yeah, I’m not too bright sometimes.

(which may incidentally be related to earlier fuckups)

2. Cockrings are ubiquitous – Much like the holy spirit or “fail” captioned images perhaps, the rings are really just everywhere in a big way. I walked into a gay bar/night club and the first thing I see is a cock ring. I was shown probably no less than a dozen before the night was out and told about the many more that existed in a world that I am clearly unfamiliar with. I met ONE guy who did not have one.  It’s important to note that these rings were probably more expensive than any of the jewelry I own.

3. There’s a whole world outside of boxers, people. I was aware of boxers and briefs…I knew about g strings and jock straps on guys but having never seen one in person, I wasn’t sure what to think. But I now know that there are no excuses when it comes to lack of male panty variety. Jocks straps seem to have provided the foundation for the myriad of design, fabric and color variations now existent in male underwear. Fashion jocks make pantsing men at clubs a worthy hobby – who knows what you’ll get! Fishnet? Hot pink? Zippers? Tanga? Guess?*

*Get it?

I’d say that for all the sex I wasn’t having in the meantime, I got some hearty information and sexy tidbits to work into my own sex life. I somehow convinced M he wants a metal cockring and perhaps with some candy or homemade dinners I can get him into a colorful jock strap soon.

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Warning: Glass Dildos Can Break

January 26, 2009

I am so so sad right now.

I was screwin’ around and not taking care of my best toy and I paid the ultimate price…twice actually. The first time, the handle broke clean off and I moved on. Tonight, but a week later from the first incident, a good chunk broke off from falling from my bed to the hardwood floor. I nearly convinced myself it was still good until I noticed the crystal blade formed on the corner of my beloved toy and realized that broken glass in my soft girly parts isn’t where I wanna take chances.

The real problem is that the toy was hand made and my attempts to find a similar toy have been fruitless. I swear I nearly wept a few minutes ago. So, so sad.

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RIP

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A Night Out – Getting Back to My Gay Roots Kinda

December 13, 2008

It’s been a tumultuous week somewhat. Work has me going like crazy to prepare for a myriad of over-priced, yet exceedingly dull holiday parties and Rae calls it quits on our D/s relationship (we’re still a friend force to be reckoned with!). And yet…everything is ok because I went clubbing last night at a rockin lesbian bar and had a supremely good time.

So, this post is about Hot Guys Making Out, Outrageously Convincing Trannies, and How My Hair Gets the Girls. You will find no content here.


Hot Guys Making Out
– I don’t seek out gay male porn. Not ever. In fact, if a small ad shows up on the screen of other porn, then I scrap the site and move on. But I cannot deny the hotness of watching two guys making out in person. When my friend and I got to The FAB Lounge, the lesbians there were almost like lifeless props for the greater show that was two gorgeous gay young men eating face on the couch across the room. It was the kind of face sucking that seemed drug induced – the passion and force with which these men were tearing at each other was relentless and almost violent. They literally had to stop for me to carry on with the rest of my evening…and carry on I did..

Outrageously Convincing Trannies – I’ve seen my share of HBO specials and I have been to enough fetish events to see my share of what DC has to offer in leather-clad transsexuals. Last night, I met a young man who just blew me away. The hair was perfect, the make up was far beyond my ability and the fashion was hot and on point. He was totally friendly and all about my dancing skills. I recall doing a few of those up-down scans of him when he sauntered by; the lady friend who went with me to the club and I both expressed our jealousy and utter perplextion for what might be attraction to this person. Hm.

How My Hair Gets the Girls – I have an afro and it is large. When men see me they call me Macy Gray and smile and wink and walk away. When women see me, they HAVE to touch it and ask about it. And before I know it, I’m dancing and I get the odd “your hair is gorgeous” or “I’ve never seen hair like that” whispered into my ear followed by some very R rated dancing that makes me blush and giggle sheepishly just to recall.

There was also extreme Drinking, Groping and Drunk Dialing, otherwise known as topics I’m not proud or sober enough to expand upon.

I also had the best chai latte of my life at Soho near Dupont. Jesus.

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Low Posting, so what gives?! (subbie birthday gift ideas?)

December 2, 2008

I assume that’s what my readers are asking themselves. About 1/3 of them are reading that armpit post anyway, so probably not, but I digress.

Two weekends ago, my new gf and my old bf got into a fun little car accident on their way to see me. No one was hurt, thank god, but the car is wrecked to death. We still managed to eventually hang out and have a decent time but the ramifications of the accident loomed in the back of all our minds. Then, I couldn’t participate in the more penetrative activities due to feeling like absolute shit. Now, I’m waiting to hear how messed up my hormones are, M’s back in lock-down study mode at school, and Rae’s in Tennessee sorting her life out.

I’m sick and lonely and horny!!!

I can at least find comfort in the coming holiday season when everything will be better and I can eat my weight in delicious foods again. More importantly, I can give Rae her belated birthday gift …if only I could figure out what that should be. Here’s what I’m thinking:

  • Trip to the local bondage club for drinks, dancing and some
    Or maybe this goatse-esque cake..

    Or maybe this goatse-esque cake..

    birthday spankings no doubt courtesy of a few friends.

  • A collar to match her watch – not really necessary (I think the watch works much better) but she wants one and M and I think they’re pretty cute.
  • Drinks, dinner and a movie date – which SOUNDS boring but can be made fun with little tasks and even littler outfits.

Not that enough people really respond to the polls but I’ll put one up to help decide

Pics will no doubt ensue!

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From date to fucktoy sub to gf in ____ seconds flat.

November 10, 2008

Have you ever watched one of the home decorating shows where an entire room’s theme is based on a significant object? Well, I recently rearranged my room with the focus being a small space dedicated to a corner and a little, red stool.

As Rae and I have been spending more and more time together, the relationship has slowly matured into something less like a BFF/play partner and more like a girlfriend. I never saw it coming, honestly; in the past I’ve had to decide between gf and fuck toy with neither ending with fond memories or significant tenure.In the past few days, Rae has not so subtly asked for definition in our relationship which is ideally all the BDSM-y bits that interject our hang out time now and being all girly and giggly with plenty of hugs and kisses. So what is a girl to do with such an unusual hybrid?

Rearrange the room.

Yesterday, I decided calling Rae my girlfriend felt about right and her eyes lit right up when I told her so. At this time, I had already decided that my room needed a change – clothes, boxes, art supplies and furniture are all strewn about my room – but I could hardly settle on an arrangement. Rae and I shopped for food, took sexy pictures on our journey and talked about what sort of relationship we could have. She went to her show afterwards, telling me she’d come back later that night to hang out with me. As soon as she left, I immediately went to work making a suitable space for her, something about this little stool in the house needed to be linked to Rae. The stool sits humbly in a bare corner with bare walls in my room, Rae came over last night, marveled at my new set up and perched herself right on that stool like it was put there just for her. I was elated!

So, of course I tied her limbs to it in some pretty elaborate knots and did something like sensation play for a few hours. Orgasms, wetness, and post orgasm giggles later, we curled up together in my bed to sleep very soundly. The bed was sweet and soft and warm; the stool was none of those. My room finally feels just right…I have a space where Rae is my gf and a space where she’s my plaything, with the transition being a fairly easy one.

*sighs dreamily*

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Non-sexy entry but fairly insightful

November 1, 2008

Thank god this is anonymous. As a PsyD hopeful, I often anxious speculate to what kind of rewarding but tedious cases await me in the world of counseling psychology. I anticipate the worst – just in my few years as an amateur sex advisor I’ve encountered some gruesome stories – however, when my coworker talks to me about herself for hours about nothing, I begin to doubt my ability to stick with this.

Everyday for at least an hour, my coworker vents to me about her sex life and her baby. It’s not so much venting as bragging. She talks at me about her affair with some guy when the other guy doesn’t know or does or something. I spent the first few months of our relationship listening intently about her promiscuity and other transgressions but then I realized that she was talking just to talk. When speaking of her personal conflicts, she has no intention of resolving any of them but instead takes pride in an active, deviant sex life that no one probably cares about but me.

She tells me because I won’t judge her (ie You’re a slut for cheating – lol, how could I?) and because she tricks me into listening every time. Now what I’m hoping is that my education teaches me how to get anywhere with one-sided conversations like this. M’s mom, who has an MS in counseling, told me that the degree teaches one how to create goals for people like this that way it gets somewhere. I can’t wait for that one. But my guess is that most people do need to hear themselves talk their way through situations to find solutions much like I do with these blog entries. Hm.

Anywho. Rae ended her diet yesterday and I was able to steal a few kisses.

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To Punish or Not to Not Punish? I Can Justify My Feelings on This…

October 24, 2008

First off, my co-author, Mme. Hovary will return soon with all kinds of lovely posts. I miss them so.

So, Rae cheated on her diet big time – fried food, alcohols and cigarettes – but I can’t punish her cause she’s sick. It’s so lame. I’m very much disappointed with her for screwing up but that maternal-ish nature in me that wants to hug and kiss her until she gets better is getting in the way.

 

But, as I type this out, I can’t help but think that maybe her little cold was caused by the previously made transgression. Smoking damages the immune system last I checked as does excessive alcohol intake. I’m not sure how funnel cake could be related but I’m sure it’s not doing any good for anybody. Oh wait wait wait I found this random article that says fried foods cause cancer!!! So, yeah, Boosh.

I’m no scientist but I’m perfectly comfortable with concluding that Rae is sick and missing out on major fun time with me because she deviated from the healthy diet/lifestyle changes I set up for her.  I could just let it go and assume that the cold is enough punishment but now I’m far too comfortable with tanning her ass for slipping up in the first place.

Once again, blogging alleviates my guilt and directs me to solution that finds me in the right. Awesome.

Now watch me get carried away with these cool new polls