Posts Tagged ‘Lubes’

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Warming vs. Tingling: A Race to the Bottom

August 14, 2008

To escape the predictable banality that comes from family reunions after the fifth day, the bf and I venture to Rite Aid for some entertainment and soothing aloe vera (for his epic sunburn). Having just had a lovely encounter with the Pink brand lube, I make my way to the family planning section to see what other options await me. There are tons!

There are about three shelves of lubes in pretty tubes, boxes, and sampler packs and they all look like colorful toys to me. KY, Durex (play), and Astroglide of course dominated the shelves and upon closer look I notice that all the lubes are one of three types – warming, tingling and regular (we’ll negate massage oils). The bf and I cringed at the sight of this because our history with the former two has been disorienting at best, outright painful at worst:

Warming Lubes:
This is a concept best reserved for massage oils, genitalia- areas that filled with blood when stimulated – generally has no business being “warmed” . Upon the delivery of a handjob using the stuff, no painful shrieks or convulsing was encountered until the lube founds its way into the penis and scrotal region. The bf freaked out and urgently exclaimed “MY DICK IS ON FIRE” And after some diligent scrubbing and therapy, he finally rid himself of the lube. I thought, being somewhat of a masochist, I might enjoy this sensation better – my vulva was never “on fire” but the sensation was not a pleasant one.

Tingling (i.e. Icy) Lubes
This lube had all the effects of toothpaste for me and “tiny, spiny needles” for my bf’s cock. I should have known better: tingling is the word Listerine chose to describe the overwhelming, explosive power of mint in its abominable products. Something about my lady bits smelling like mint just didn’t sit right with either of us and the sensation was enough to completely distract from enjoying any sexual action.

Now, to be fair, this trial was a couple years ago and I have to think some progress has been made on the lubes since then. Maybe with some coaxing and a night when I can plan on not enjoying sex, I’ll try this stuff out again.

Oh and for the people who think they can do without, “I don’t need lube I’m wet enough” or “Lube takes away the friction”, I still recommend its use because lube can create all sorts of feelings meant to enhance your sex life. Especially high quality lubes just can’t be replicated by the human body (I pray) and, for a one night trial, they come in little trial packages or bottles.

So, BOOSH

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Armpit Fetish Part II, Also I Just Bought a Ton of Sex Toys

August 11, 2008

As I’m sure you’re all waiting with bated breath for the conclusion of my armpit sexcapade, I’ll just say that nothing came of it. Here I was in the heat of the moment, practically begging my bf to engage in some underarm play of sorts and he wouldn’t have it. Then I explained some of the facts I found on this fetish and with a chuckle we decided to give it a go.

Of course there was a problem, my armpits were so ticklish that no sort of penetrative action would even be attempted. Like with my ticklish neck I tried to turn the laughs off for the sake of sexual excitement but with no luck. Oh well, don’t let my experience discourage you!

On the plus side, I felt an overwhelming need to drop an obscene amount of money on new sex toys. I bought my co-author a jelly, vibrating cock ring and some Pink brand lube for watching my fish. And for myself I bought the following objects:

Multi-use vibrating jelly cock ring

This is a pretty decent product – I bought it mostly for my beau since vibrating doesn’t do much for me. He liked it a lot and it actually did me some good when paired with his apadravya piercing. He told me that it was interesting, comfortable and only disappointing in that it didn’t get me off right away (aw…?)

Vibrating clitoral and vaginal pump

I love suction in general, it wakes up all the little nerves wherever it is and sends chills down my back that somehow work their way to my lady regions. So, this toy made perfect sense for me to buy and it’s not bad – the suction is good but you have to have an air tight area of skin to begin with which can be hard to manage if you’re really enjoying the moment.

Jelly, purple double ended dildo (I hate the word dong)

I’m pretty sure the diameter is 2+ inches which is too big for my tastes – otherwise I love the sensation that the pure jelly gives – vibes tend to be filled with machinery and silicone just isn’t the same.

Pink lube

I only bought a sample amount of this stuff but I’ll definitely buy more when I get the funds for it. There’s a nice slippery, not-too-viscous quality that is just delightful.

Bondage Tape

Haven’t opened this one yet but there shouldn’t be any surprises. Bondage tape is just one of the best things around and for some reason reminds me of Legos in its versatility and color diversity. I’ve worn the tape as a dress and a shirt and it’s great for tying someone up if you’re not so skilled or patient in the rope tying department.

I’ll add more links as I match the toys up with online counterparts. And Pink has inspired me to try the wide world of lubes that’s out there. I hear Eros is a decent one.

Here’s a list of some extremely expensive, fancy sex toys brought to you by everything2.com